Adults’ Bully, too!
There are bullies at all stages of life. There is the child in school who needs to have all the attention and does so by making her or his classmates feel inferior. There are the teenage “mean girls”, and the boys who taunt the kid who they see as different. We need to address bullying early or these behaviors will continue to adulthood.
You are smart. You may have a Bachelor’s Degree, or maybe even a Master’s. You have a proven track record of success and your chosen profession. The journey up the corporate ladder should be an epic tale of learning, mentoring and growth.
However, what they don’t teach you in business school is how to deal with all of the bullies that you will encounter in the workplace. Some are subtle, while others do not try to hide their tactics, but they are all equally as toxic. They make you feel inept, undermine your accomplishments, and take every opportunity to steal your joy.
Here are some techniques I have found useful in confronting these characters:
(1) Kill them with kindness – I have found that when a bully is turning on all of their mean tactics, they are looking for their target to cower or become defensive. It really confuses them if you smile and nod and ask them how their day was!
(2) Be direct – Bullies often twist the facts to make themselves look better. Remember, you are smarter, better, faster and can counter their lies with reality.
(3) Fight! Let me clarify this, I don’t mean that you can go around slapping your bully, as tempting as that may be, but you can escalate any work-related bullying to your supervisor or Human Resources department. The key here is to stick with the facts of how the bullying is affecting work performance, or putting the company at risk. As hard as it is, try to keep the emotion out of it. There are times where changing your department, or even your company, are the only solution. Yes, that isn’t fair, when you’re not the one causing the issues, but life isn’t fair.
The thing that gets me through the day is to concentrate on all of the wonderful people that I encounter in the course of the day. I have friends that I made through work who I am closer to than my own relatives. It is easy to think that one or two bullies can spoil the whole office, but remember, you can prevail!
About Wendy Lanski
She has over 25 years of experience working with the business side of healthcare. Wendy is heavily involved with anti-hate activities such as interfaith relations (involved in Jewish/Muslim relations etc.). She is a 9/11 survivor and involved in education and awareness of terrorism survivors.
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