Adults’ Bully, too!
There are bullies at all stages of life. There is the child in school who needs to have all the attention and does so by making her or his classmates feel inferior. There are the teenage “mean girls”, and the boys who taunt the kid who they see as different. We need to address bullying early or these behaviors will continue to adulthood.
You are smart. You may have a Bachelor’s Degree, or maybe even a Master’s. You have a proven track record of success and your chosen profession. The journey up the corporate ladder should be an epic tale of learning, mentoring and growth.
However, what they don’t teach you in business school is how to deal with all of the bullies that you will encounter in the workplace. Some are subtle, while others do not try to hide their tactics, but they are all equally as toxic. They make you feel inept, undermine your accomplishments, and take every opportunity to steal your joy.
Here are some techniques I have found useful in confronting these characters:
(1) Kill them with kindness – I have found that when a bully is turning on all of their mean tactics, they are looking for their target to cower or become defensive. It really confuses them if you smile and nod and ask them how their day was!
(2) Be direct – Bullies often twist the facts to make themselves look better. Remember, you are smarter, better, faster and can counter their lies with reality.
(3) Fight! Let me clarify this, I don’t mean that you can go around slapping your bully, as tempting as that may be, but you can escalate any work-related bullying to your supervisor or Human Resources department. The key here is to stick with the facts of how the bullying is affecting work performance, or putting the company at risk. As hard as it is, try to keep the emotion out of it. There are times where changing your department, or even your company, are the only solution. Yes, that isn’t fair, when you’re not the one causing the issues, but life isn’t fair.
The thing that gets me through the day is to concentrate on all of the wonderful people that I encounter in the course of the day. I have friends that I made through work who I am closer to than my own relatives. It is easy to think that one or two bullies can spoil the whole office, but remember, you can prevail!
About Wendy Lanski
She has over 25 years of experience working with the business side of healthcare. Wendy is heavily involved with anti-hate activities such as interfaith relations (involved in Jewish/Muslim relations etc.). She is a 9/11 survivor and involved in education and awareness of terrorism survivors.
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“This is a wonderful book about a girl named Princess Diversity…she and another classmate are being picked on in class because they are different, but Princess Diversity stands up for them both because she remembers the Golden Rule, and she changes the mind of all the other students by reminding them that she and everybody else are all different in their own way, but we’re all one big family and each person is a precious jewel!
This book is a great lesson and example of the simple idea of living by the Golden Rule, treating others the way we want to be treated, and it was written as a universal message that can be shared with everyone…great illustrations too! I also loved the final page of the book which has some simple ideas, both for children and adults, on ways to “kick hate out of this world”! By: Trevor Stevens
“This is a lovely book that discusses the importance of following the golden rule not just for those of different races/colors, but also for those with disabilities. It is an essential message for all people, children and adults alike, to learn and practice in their daily lives. The illustrator also depicted the scenes very vividly and beautifully.” By: NFS
“This is a beautifully written book which I recommend teachers read to their grade school students. I myself am buying a few more copies to send to my children so they can read it to my grandchildren.” By: Claire Sheerin
“My niece and nephew really enjoyed this book. The message is very positive and a teaching moment for kids. Much needed book in today’s world. Well written and nice illustrations.” By: Nida U.
“Fabulous story which can help children overcome racism and bigotry whether they are the victims or the perpetrators. I would recommend it to anyone with young children.” By: Sandra Kece
“Great book to read with your kids for them to appreciate differences and diversity!!! My kids loved it!” By: Khadija-z
“A book for current times…. More than ever, we need to instill tolerance in our children. The world is much smaller now, with the internet, and we need to teach our children to love one another, to respect other people of different origins, those with different religions and those with disabilities. Great tool to help families and teachers in this much-needed lesson.” By: D. Winsey
A wonderful read to spread positive image, and self-esteem. The characters look real and easy to relate to. More books should be focused on how to spread the right message of tolerance towards differences! Highly recommended!”
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